Sunday, October 26, 2008

How to Go Into Labor

Mom, I think I might have found a more sure fire way than spaghetti dinners, chocolate cake and a movie with a toddler on your lap that has to potty to get a labor going. Although by all accounts not as relaxing or delicious as your method, this one apparently works within a day or so. Proceed thus: Find a warm day, take three children (your own or someone else's) to a pumpkin picking farm. Make sure you walk in the hay maze, supervise all the corn bin jumping and go on the hayride--did i mention this has to be very bumpy, as in every rut you expect your water to break--out to get your pumpkins from the field. Yes, you will get asked a sickening amount of times, if you "are stealing a pumpkin under that shirt, ma'am?" smile or offend the commentator, your choice....Make sure each of the three children picks the largest pumpkin they can feasibly carry or not carry as the case may be. Head back to play and eat pinto bean soup around the barnyard. Right as you are planning to leave have the eldest child with the largest pumpkin careen out of the hay loft to hurt their tummy to where they not only can't carry their pumpkin to the car, they can hardly walk. Exit the pumpkin patch with pumpkins in wheelbarrow, child crawling, and waddle to your car. If you are smart you will realize that while the wheelbarrow was a great savior to get those pumpkins out the door, the wheelbarrow does not lift the pumpkins into your car. Find a friendly soul wandering the parking lot to lift those pumpkins for you. Knowing in hindsight how quickly Inde was born, I am oh so thankful she didn't decide to join us at tate farms, I guess she didn't want to be Inde Tate Bothwell, she was waiting for just the right moment to fall into our the rain...
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